Gratitude

When Miss B was newborn I had a lot of trouble feeling like what I was doing was worth something...anything. In order to feel more accomplished I kept a small calendar where I wrote down what I did everyday. Little things like walking to the store, having a visitor, going to the doctor. I liked seeing the filled up pages. It reminded me that I was doing things. I felt useful.

Being a stay-at-home mom can be monotonous and boring. I very rarely talk to other adults, other than nods and smiles in the school halls or the cashier at the grocery store. I do laundry and clean up toys. I play endless games of Transformers. I make three meals and many snacks everyday. I am feeling disconnected again. I need to start keeping track of the things we do, the things I am grateful for. My thinking is that if I only type a few things a day, maybe I'll get into the grove of blogging again.

I am putting out the the universe that I am in need of a new tribe. My old tribe has disbanded due to divorce, different schooling practices, kids of different ages and moving to other countries. I am desperate for people that like the things I like, parent the way I parent and laugh at the same things I laugh at. Is it too much to ask? Yes, but it doesn't hurt to ask anyway.

So... today, I am grateful for the courage I had to open the computer and type this while the smallest kid is distracted by (natural) cheesies and tv. I am so happy the sun is back and drawing us outside. We made it to the library and to Miss B's musical performance despite multiple tantrums. We had a quick family dessert outing for icecream and ate it on top of the Wall Centre's perfectly manicured grass.

See, I did do something today. There were a few wins. :)